Goldfish in my hotel room

During my last trip to Bombay I had to stay an unexpected extra night and found myself checking back into Le Meridien hotel the same evening of the morning I'd check out on.

What was nice, was they actually upgraded me to the club floor and although the room was almost the same, it felt newly refurbished and once the internet connection was sorted I was all comfy and settled.

There was a gentle knock on the door and housekeeping were requesting an entrance. Of course, I obliged and was startled to see the hotel employee tentatively carrying a small bowl filled with water. I didn't realise at first but the bowl, about the size of a large grapefruit, was actually a goldfish bowl, complete with tiny black pebbles and a delicate flamboyant ebony fish.

The fish swam about quite happily and I was content to have a companion.

I have had the privilege to stay in many hotels all over the world, and this was the first time a goldfish was part of the package.

Well done Le Meridien..!

Zipping through Bombay

Having the privilege to travel so much with work and for pleasure, means I have amassed quite a bit of taxi experience - not driving myself you understand, but rather being "chauffeured" around in varying levels o comfort and style.

The video shows my near-death experiences at the hands of a Mumbai-auto-rickshaw driver.




They hug the vehicle in front like a Siamese-twin and nip in and out of gaps in the traffic like woodlice scampering around in search of tasty morsels discarded by some larger being. The driver is invariably bear-footed and often crosses one leg over the other while driving - and I use that term loosely.

It's really quite exciting as they dodge the traffic to the side and indeed sometimes on-coming. The noise assaults your ears and the dust stings your nostrils, but it's great fun. I did survive to reach my destination and hence able to post this blog - it will be nice to get back in the Comfort Taxis of Singapore at the airport at Changi - the luxuries of it all sometimes seem too easy.

Back in India - love it

Landed back in India last night very late and a little jaded; the Singapore airlines flight was a little delayed. This was mitigated by the fact that although I was flying economy class, I was fortunate enough to be on the Boeing 777-ER which has the new seats. They' not bad at all: nice reclining options, great entertainment on a very nice screen and a civilised 3-3-3 configuration to boot.

The first amazing sight at Mumbai airport was a snake of about 50 trolleys winding and slithering their way from one side of the arrivals hall to the other. The people traffic trying to exit the hall came to a complete stand still while this wheeled serpent, pushed by at least 10 men, wound its merry way through the patiently waiting throng. This silent acceptance was in stark contrast to what was waiting for me outside.

No sooner had I found my hotel car pick up man and the honking attacked my eardrums; it's incessant, constant, rude. One honks to say "I'm here"; one honks to say "Get out of my way"; and one honks, it feels to even pass the time while you wait for the traffic to move. But I knew I was back in India for the first time for about 4 years and I was loving it.

The smells confronted my nostrils almost as quickly as the horn-blowing kicked my hearing. Not offensive smells, per se; but certainly not rose perfume either: just a sweaty mix of the Bombay tropics with dust and humanity.

I was in India and glad to be back.

Advertising mis-messaging

As I was sitting waiting for the rather inept customer services representative to confirm some details on upgrading my mobile contract, I was struck by a huge advert at M1 showing a charming chappie atop a government housing complex in Singapore. He was strumming his guitar and dreaming of starting his own band; the bass player would be in Peru, the drummer in Tasmania, the mixing done in some hip European capital and the whole ensemble beamed "live" from a cafe in boondocks of Singapore.

I then glanced to the text on the right of the picture declaring something which made me frown, then widen my eyes in disbelief and finally laugh.

It says, if you can't read it below: "The devices which make all of this possible aren't here yet. But the mobile network already is. The new M1 Network."

Staggered at the creative crassness, I was amazed at a company's core message on one of its supposed key differentiators stating that while the underlying nuts and bolts are in place, you can't actually do any of the things we claim you can...and by the way, that's not our fault, but rather the fault of the "device" people - whoever they may be.

Is this the best they could come up with?
Appalled - absolutely appalled.

If they weren't so cheap I'd switch networks....there you have it: I'm a cheap charlie. On the plus side, if I weren't a customer, then I would probably never have seen this ad and thus have nothing to blog about today.

Every cloud...

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Why does a cup of tea never last as long as you want it to?

It's true, a good cup of English tea, complete with a good dollop of milk, always seems to run out before the savouring has ended.

The aroma is just pungent enough, the colour a delightful peach shade and the sugar-level perfectly in tune with not-too-sweet a tooth. You work away, you sip, you chat, you sip. Before you know it you're sucked into sheer enjoyment first, then oblivion as the fast dwindling liquid in the mug before you seemingly evaporates.

You reach for another thirst-quenching swig and lo and behold, the cup is empty.

How did that happen?
Where did it all go?
Why is a cup so shallow?
Was, indeed, accelerated evaporation to blame?

So many questions, but one thing doesn't change: my cup remains empty and off to the kitchen I must trek to replenish.

Problem is: the 2nd cup is NEVER as tasty as the first.

Chinese Herbals

Well it started quite innocently enough with a trip to a Chinese diner. Little did I know we'd end up sampling herbal delights and giggling with a hostess with the mostess...

This charming eatery is in Clarke Quay, Singapore just down from a rather though-provoking drinking place called Clinic where the guests are served various toxic concoctions while seated in wheel chairs and hospital beds.

Our jovial hostess, Doris, was a scream from the outset and made us feel at ease and comfortable with the highly complex menu; it did help that one of our party spoke perfect Mandarin and ordered everything for us. She was even astute (for one our group allergic to sea-food) enough to ask the chef to remove the scallops from the yummy egg-white froth with scallops -- mind you, I'm not sure what else was in there apart from egg white...but he seemed to enjoy it.

Our Soon Hock (white fish for the uninitiated) was perfectly cooked, but alas, no-one wanted to brave the cheek and savour the delicate flavours of the most delicate and honoured part of the fish... What an insult to our chef...!

The desert was a mastery of chemistry. We were served small bowls filled to the brim with water and ice cubes; our interest was piqued to say the least. Then came the piping hot taro and yam which was plunged into the iced water creating streams of sugar caramel strewn over the table...the tubers were still hot inside, but the icy coating was particularly crunchy.

Finally - a discussion on penises...yes, you read me correctly - male appendages - of the animal kind I might add.

Deer dicks - to put not to-fine-a-point on it were the then the subject of the hour...how potent they are and indeed how expensive the liquor brewed from these poor animals severed sex organs. Our dear Doris (no pun intended) was obsessed with animal extensions of the male order.

We managed to escape with our lives and hymens (sic) intact to quickly head for our house for a soothing glass of champagne - which as we all know, calms the spirit and relaxes the soul.

What a night.....!

A new start in blogging

Well, after several weeks of trying to kick start my iWeb blogging options, I have given up and yielded to the pressures of wanting to continue my online splurges - while not wanting to fork out more money to Apple on a new version of iWeb.

So here's my new page format at my new URL.

I hope people (if indeed, any were following before) will update their links and continue to read my rants.

Let's see how this new format works - I theoretically can upload photos on the go - although with my hammered Samsung being decidedly temperamental at the moment, I'm not convinced that will work. We'll see.

In anticipation of more rants....