My nomination for the first Lufthansa A380

It's always good fun naming things...my first suggestion for the A380 from Lufthansa was "Big Boy" but someone had already taken that.

I had to settle for "Ueber-plane" - well it's big, right?! And I thought "Mega-plane" was a bit weak. Surely, this is the passenger plane to end all passenger planes!

Well, it will be until they build a BIGGER one. Maybe, I can call that one "Big Boy" or perhaps even "Biggest Boy".
Anyway, if you have a better / more creative names, please log onto Lufthansa and join the fun.

My nomination for the first Lufthansa A380:

"The A380 the new Lufthansa flagship, a special experience, the Lufthansa A380. Find out more about the fascination of a new era in air travel. Take part, Raffles, Downloads, Photos, Video, Gallery, First Flight in 2010."

Mother leaves us at age 87

My dear grandmother passed away during the early hours of 2nd March.

I called my maternal grandmother Mother – because my mother is my Mam and my great-grandmother was Mother Baxter (no, nothing to do with My Jolly – that’s pure coincidence) – while my paternal grandmother is Nan, not Nana, or Nanny – simply Nan. Confused? You will be!.

I’d made the trip to see Mother a couple of weeks prior to that and am so glad I trekked half way around the world.

We didn’t tell her I was going and the surprise was evident as a startled old woman glowed from her hospital bed and grasped my hand so tight I thought I’d never get it back. “I’m so glad you came”, she said. “I’m so glad to be here”, I returned. I did have to let go as my cousins arrived and we had to scramble for chairs to accommodate us all. I wish I held her hand just a little longer – but then we all wish we’d done things sooner, for longer, in more depth – but often it’s to have done it at all that counts. When I left three days later, I hugged her hard, felt her warmth and knew deep down it was my last moment with her. I still feel her warmth now as I type – at 38 000 feet heading home to Maryport for her funeral.

Right to the end, she kept her wicked dry sense of humour.

In the hospital she would terrorise her fellow patients who were being noisy, disoriented or just different. “She’s from Norway”, she barked on one occasion, as if to suggest that was a worse place than Nebraska to hail from. The Filipina nurse was kindly given the moniker “Tokyo Lill”. And when a very disoriented gentleman from the adjacent ward wandered through asking for his wife and if anyone knew where she was: “She’s run off with another fella”, came Mother’s rebuke. We, around the bed, laughed and told her to hush: embarrassed, not too much not to see the funny side.

One time, Mother was lying with her eyes closed, resting, perhaps asleep. My Mam (remember this is my mother…following still?), told me that she and her brother were discussing the terrible new trend of mixing weed-killer with BabyBio (the plant fertiliser) to create a high-inducing concoction. Unflinchingly, Mother peeled her eyes open, turned her head slightly to my Mam and Uncle and whispered: “Don’t tell anyone I’ve got weed-killer in the larder at home! They’ll be around looking for it!”

Lucid to the end was a real blessing for my Mam and her siblings – even though the end came quickly, we don’t think Mother suffered too much pain, and the last day my Mam spent hours with her, mother and daughter were conscious of each other’s presence. That’s important.

But, what did Mother mean to me?

One of my first memories I have is of Mother and Mam taking me to a wildlife park in Lowther in northern Cumbria. We saw peacocks, owls, deer and cattle. It was quite amazing to see such “exotic” creatures. I believe this help kindle an interest in me for nature – and interest that has blossomed into fascination with African beasts and a love of safari.

Some of the most beautiful things were the most mundane and routine: like going down town shopping with Mam and Mother every Saturday morning. We had a very distinct plan of action: pies from Crellin’s, groceries from Litpon’s, a salad sandwich or perhaps ham from the Townhouse café and then a treat of a cake or two from Fulton’s. Those were the days when small shops dominated the scene and one wandered from place to place making singular purchases for each item. Mother would usually give me 20p to play on the slot-machine – this could have been my road to gambling ruin, but thankfully I never got the bug. 20p was enough and two spins of the barrels sated me.

Other wondrous routines included: Boxing Day tea with cousins, uncles and aunts – 15 or more of us crammed around a table normally used to seating 8; ham, chicken, ox tongue, picked beetroot and onions, coleslaw, trifle and Christmas cake. Mother’s recipe for Christmas cake is now in the safe hands of my Mam (please see other entry on the blog for the tale of this along with the recipe).

Wednesdays, way back, saw Mam & I head to Mother’s for a cheese on toasted teacake while we watched Benny Hill. [Teacakes in Cumbria are not fancies, they’re actually balm cakes, which to all non-Notherners are flat bread rolls and if you don’t know who Benny Hill is, then be happy.]

Mother was peculiar in the sense she never left the UK – I’m not even sure she left England. I don’t even think in her 87 years she saw London. No ferries, no long motorway car journeys and no airplanes. No inoculations and no passport – how different her grandson (me) was to turn out. Since my granddad passed back in 2003 she’d never set foot over the threshold except to put the rubbish out. Yet, she “travelled the world without leaving the house”; everywhere I travelled I brought back a fridge magnet and Mother dutifully stuck it to the kitchen fridge; vicariously she’s been to Bali, New York, Tokyo, Singapore, Cape Town, Tasmania, Paris & New Orleans.

I will miss going up to Broughton Moor, the village where she lived, and seeing her each time I return home to Maryport. Her warm “Hello Son!” won’t greet me anymore, but the memories will stay with me forever.

I have been blessed to have lived with two grandmothers until almost 40 years of age: I have more memories than most of them; my Nan is battling on at 88!

I ended each phone call with my Mother with the words “I love you” and she returned the same; I’m so thankful we said it. Say it to someone today and make their reason for living just that little bit more special and may we all continue to harvest wondrous memories of those we love.

A harmless game os some evil immoral consipracy

I go for weeks and post nothing and then bombard readers (if you're still out there) with two posts in almost as many minutes.

Innocuous, innocent, educating, stimiulating, challenging, thought-provoking -- and OK, OK sometimes a little risque in the words that are allowed, but is Scrabble really worthy of being blocked by bodies deeming it unsuitable for public consumption?!

You can imagine my dismay when, being tired of facebook updates, I turned to my faithful board game for some grey-matter-gymnastics, only to find the application blocked. Why you may scream, I certainly did. I post here the explanation given:

"Doha International Airport

Your access to this URL is currently restricted due to a blocking rule.
Blocking rule: Block URLs of Lifestyle

The URL you are attempting to access has been blocked. Organization policy does not allow access to this activity. "

It's a "lifestyle" thing?! Do they, in Doha, know I'm gay already? Does increasing ones vocabulary through sparring with fellow wordsmiths endanger the state? Does a proficiency and love of the English language threaten the future of Arabic?

I'm lost - really lost as to why something as generally bland as Scrabble would be blocked. My assumption is, of course, that this is a specific block and not a general one - or how else would they know what to block or allow on facebook?! But let's give Doha International Airport the benefit of the doubt and hope it's a general block and Scrabble is just an innocent by-standing victim of cyber policing gone crazy.

I will be posting an email query to Doha Interational Airport and if I get a response will let you all know.

A thought just occurred to me: perhaps they've seen the words already on my Scrabble boards and blocked "Darren Smith" personally -- nah - can't be....when I reflect: I'm 99% certain there are no "c*nts", "f*cks" or "w*nks" on my boards at the current time...so it can't be personal - Thank God!

Qatar Airways - a truly 5-star outfit

It's not for the most pleasant reasons that I'm trekking up north to Maryport, Cumbria (CA15 8TD if you care to Google or Bing it). But more of than in a later post.

I had the good fortune, however, of finding a reasonably priced business class fare from Singapore to Manchester with Qatar Airways and the dates mostly worked, so I snapped it up. I have flown them before and was already an advocate. This latest trip is consistent with my experience hitherto and what Qatar delivers is the envy of many an airline.

Their seats in business are almost lie-flat - so I slept like a baby between Singapore and Doha. They serve champagne from the bottle at your seat - you feel like you're in a restaurant. A jump suit is offered - not many airlines do that anymore in 2nd class and disembarking one is whisked away to their dedicated business / first terminal for a relaxing transit in their luxurious lounge.

Upon arriving, I did the seasoned thing and ignored everything else and zoomed in on the shower zone. I had left my jacket and overcoat draped over my chair and rushed to get a free cubicle to freshen up. One expects in these surroundings that your belongings are safe from man-handling - so you can imagine my surprise when I returned to my seat to see someone had @tampered@ with my coat. But NOT in a bad way I hasten to add: one of the lounge attendants had hauled a wooden clothes-horse to my seat and lovingly hung both my jacket and overcoat to help prevent creasing.

While at work earlier today, we were presenting to a large agro-chemical company on the research technique commonly known as Kano analysis where one splits various product offering items into the four categories of essential, hygiene, treats and inconsequential. I expect the shower room to be available and clean; champagne of some description is essential on take-off; I would not really care if I got a hot towel or not; BUT pro-actively hanging my clothes for me was a real treat.

I was WOWed.

Thank you Qatar Airways.