Sometime a speech is hard to give

Unaccustomed as I am not, giving my speech of farewell in Singapore was a little more troublesome than usual.  I first was in an impromptu fashion (thanks Baxter@!) propelled to give an improvised one at my flat leaving party – standing on a chair, I had to think on my feet.....I think it was OK – but I do love planning a speech.  That said, I’m sure the guests were relieved it was short and pithy.

Then I wrote a speech for my official Synovate leaving do, with clients and all.  Well, the venue wasn’t appropriate and not many clients turned up, so it didn’t get read.

I thought of recycling it at my cake-cutting final day in the office – and that didn’t feel appropriate either.

So I recycled it a 3^rd time at a final brunch at the China Club and it almost worked.

Here it is for your enjoyment...and indeed mine – I thoroughly enjoyed writing it and when I eventually got to read it out, was moved – and saw others moved by it.

“After 8 years of living in wonderful Singapore, I’m moving on. 

8, as we know is a very auspicious number in Chinese culture and that surely bodes a good omen.

So staying with the number 8, I thought I'd list a few things in the same vein:

Favourite foods: roti prata, mee goreng, xiao long bao, fish head, kaya, ikan billis, satay, Starbucks green tea latte....!

Favourite sayings: taxi uncle, can what?, what you mean leh?, cannot!, kiasu, paiseh, fill up a form, u-turn back.....

Favourite landmarks: Orchard Road, Ann siang Hill, Esplanade, Bras Basah MRT, Ritz-Carlton (for brunch), Fullerton Bay Hotel, Gold Class cinemas at Vivo, shop-houses – especially in Little India.

And what about 8 momentous events while in Singapore?

1.         I completed my MBA at Chicago Booth.

2.         I joined Synovate 7 years ago.

3.         I bought landed property.

4.         I had my first (and so far last) fish foot spa.

5.         We moved office at work – not for the faint-hearted.

6.         I started to learn Mandarin and gave up – then I started to learn Arabic – and also gave up.

7.         I got my iPhone and convinced IT at work to allow emails on it..!

8.         I was part of the first Pink Dot.

I saw amazing places all over Asia and the most memorable 8 must be:

1.         Bali and a bungee jump.

2.         Langkawi.

3.         Bagan.

4.         Borobadur and the Amanjiwo.

5.         Colombo & Galle – Sri Lanka and the Amangalla.

6.         Angkor Wat and the Amansara.

7.         Chiang Mai – and a hot air balloon flight I will never forget.

8.         Phuket and the Amanpuri.

And fabulous people to thank: [this portion was all about work and when I read it at my brunch setting, the thanks were all adrift, so (again thinking on my feet) I decided to choose one word to sum up the various guests around the table.  Some words were inspired, some flattering and some, unfortunately due to my brain cells at the time, peculiar.  "Loyal", "friendship", “thank-you”, "emotional" and "beautiful" were amongst the sane, while "food "and "complex" might be considered amongst the less sane ones.  But that’s spontaneity for you.  

My dear Baxter, couldn’t be summed up in a single word, so I didn’t bother....except upon reflection, there is a SINGLE word for Baxter – that’s Baxter – what else?!]

That was my last list.  (thank goodness, you say under your breath.) 

So as I move on, Nairobi and the vast expanse that is Africa awaits.

It’s exciting and a little scary.  But that makes it more fascinating. 

I’ve got an office and a desk, I’ve got a work permit, and I’ve got a short list of cars to choose one from.

But the best thing of all is I have an apartment – and the unit number?  A8. 

The signs are clear: I will miss (dearly) Singapore and all of you – and after 8 years it will be a wrench to board that plane on the morning of 3rd July.  But I’ll be back and with a lucky 8 greeting me each time I return home in the evening on my front door, Singapore and all the wonderful things will never be far from my thoughts.

Now let’s get drunk.”

Well by this point at brunch, we were quite merry and while there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, the Peking duck was getting cold, so we dried our eyes with the China Club extra large napkins – complete with a large red Maoist star – and got stuck in.

First driving experience in Nairobi – bumped and battered?

I took the keys rather gingerly, if truth be known.  The driver had come over to my hotel and then announced he had to get back to the office and was about to shift over and hand me (so to speak) the driving wheel, when I almost yelped, “Please, you drive to the office, then I will take it from there.”

 

I had witnessed many journeys to and from the office, and indeed to other places around Nairobi, and there was one common theme: chaos.  So you can perhaps appreciate my trepidation.

 

Once in the safety of the office compound (yes we have an office compound) I confidently opened the driver’s seat door and clambered in.  There were at least two reassuring things that helped me focus on the challenges of avoiding collisions.  Firstly, in Kenya, one drives on the left, which, while I’m very competent in driving on the Napoleon-side of the highway, meant one less thing to worry about.  Secondly, the car was an automatic, and the need to concentrate on gear shifts also evaporated.

 

So I started her up and began (incredibly slowly) to drive towards the compound exit.  As I did, I had to negotiate a rather tight corner and managed to get round it with the only very slight accident of knowing over a gardener’s broom.  I was out – free – on the Nairobi thoroughfare.  And since the office area is residential, on a Saturday the roads were almost empty.  Great for my confidence and I when I hit the highway at the end of the road, I was (almost) ready to do battle.

 

The high was clogged with towering trucks, bristling buses, luxury cars with luxury drivers, the odd nippy motorcyclist and a herd of matatus.  These matatus are the local minibuses.  They are like the beetles of the road – scurrying here and there with utter disregard for you or other vehicles and certainly not interested in following road etiquette – let alone rules.  But I survived and was soon on Raphta Road to take a quick look at my soon-to-be new apartment.

 

I was on the way back when I hit a snag: the road I was supposed to take was closed.  Shit.....

And the reason being there are massive road works underway (with Chinese financing) to build a super-highway.  Result: more chaos.

So I checked Maps on my iPhone and glided down the hill under the overpass (still being finished) and then as I was about to turn into a side road (off the A2 and onto Wambugu road, in case you’re wanting to follow this on Maps, like a crazy soap opera) I got “sandwiched” between a huge dumper truck and the verge.

 

Mayhem?  That’s an understatement, the dumper truck had forced his way onto the main road and snarled up the entire route as a consequence.  Horns were beeping, people were shouting and then finally a man got out (not sure from where) and started directing this one forward, that one back and even asking me to move forward – where he thought I was going to drive to, I have no idea – the ditch to my right was (sorry!) NOT a bloody option....

 

The truck broke free, the road started moving again and I was at last allowed to get in my beloved Wambugu Road.  I felt localised a little.  My HR Director described me as mwenyeji which apparently means “the complete local”.  And my first on-road experience in Kenya at the helm, so to speak, was ended with no bumps and no battering. 

 

Yes, it was quite fun actually...!!

First impressions of a great new continent

I was filled with an ounce or two of  trepidation venturing into an unknown place; a bold new viewpoint.  What am I doing?  What will happen next?  Where might I end up?  Will I come back?

All these questions swirling in my head. And more. Then I landed at Jomo Kenyatta international airport on Easter Monday to a cool westerly breeze and a transfer to my hotel.  What was central Nairobi going to be like?  And what a feast of colour, new sights, smells.

People are people and that's the big learning.  Why did I think this place would be different to elsewhere?  Why did I believe here would be contorted to something unrecognizable?  Of course it isn't. The people live, the thirst for life is lip-smacking.

New customs are quickly adopted and a fresh perspective on my surroundings easily taken on board. One should wear a suit at work (thank God the climate allows) and don't wait for the traffic light to necessarily turn green before driving on.  So much to learn. So many things to wonder at.

I've perchanced on places I'd hitherto only dreamed or fantasized about. Did I really venture to Dar Es Salaam?  Did I actually land at Entebbe?  Was there an arrival in Accra?  And was that Lagos I spied from the comfort of my suitably locked Toyota?

I guess it all must have happened.  

And a colleague asked will I not miss all the wondrous things in Asia?  Naturally, I shall.  But the retort perhaps should be, "what would I be missing in Africa if I didn't move on?"  I'm already yearning to be back in Uganda, return to Tanzania and sample more of what Lagos (apparently) has to offer.

There is something that just popped into my head and it's major concern: how can one be stylish in east Africa?  I saw the eye-wincing brightness of bold tribal prints in Nigeria and an admiration of the great houses of luxury only usually witnessed in Rome.  But I must confess the Kenyan appreciation of Gucci, Boss, Dior and perhaps Ferragamo is less than slight.  The conservative nature of the east is over-shadowed by the flamboyance of the west of this great continent. Will I be consigned to scouring for khakis and safari gear on my next jaunt to London?  Will I find myself passing by Armani and heading like a misguided homing-pigeon into the Timerland store?  Will Merrill replace Prada for my footwear of choice?  And how could the North Face become my Etro or Zegna when I need an outer-garment to keep me warm or dry (or both) ??!

Then again, I don't think I shall let it happen.

Maybe it's partly my duty to bring a little bit of style and unaffordable luxury to this corner of the world.   I resolve to subscribe to Monocle and continue to scan the pages of Flipboard ensuring I won't be abandoned by the fashion and odd extravagance that is THE industry.

I have enjoyed beyond my wildest imagination my first month in Africa. I shall be returning to Singapore in a few days time and am certain people will want to know more about my "initiation" onto the dark continent.  I think I'll tell them it was "OK".

After all I don't want everyone coming over, now do I?!

Myanmar or is that Burma?

What's in a name?
I'm not always certain - but I ususally look it up!

And when I was debating internally about whether to go to Myanmar or not, I came to thinking where on earth had the Myanmar name come from.  I didn't even know why Burma was dropped - there is an official denial from the part of many parts of the Commonwealth and international community who insist on syaing Burma and Rangoon -yet the reality - as usal is somewhat more complicated.

Without going into it all here - the Burmese are actually a majority ethnicity within the country of Myanmar - and calling Myanmar, Burma is a little bit like calling the UK, England.  I know that's done - but it's incorrect - and given the recent success of the Scottish nationalists in the elections there, I would hate to pour oil on the fire.  (Mind you, as a complete aside, I struggle to see why so many cling onto the Union despite an overwhelming economic argument that is in favour of jettisoning the 3/4s of the Union that perhaps contributes less in capital and more in traditions.)

Back to my Myanmarese tale.

Our first stop was Bagan - the valley of temples.  You read the descriptions and you are made constantly aware of the stats - 4000+ temples in a 26 square mile area.  But you don't really take it in.

The dust in Bagan was of "grapes of wrath" magnitude and the searing heat made it very uncomfortable - but the sights made it all worthwhile.

We arrived just before the New Year celebrations really got under way and the water throwing (akin to what happens in Thailand for Songkran) peaked the following day just as we were making our way to a local market.  Dousing is not the word - the locals were soaking each other.  It seemed people, as they sped past on the motorbikes or in the back of open trucks were revelling in the prospect of getting more & more drenched.  Locals stand on the roadside with Tupperware bowls and small pales waiting for passing traffic or pedestrians and then they let rip.

Everyone was wet through.  Baxter and I managed to escape - with only a mild sprinkling from behind.  It's good luck you see - how could we not oblige.  I kept my camera out of harm's way and shuddered as the cold water trickled down my back.

We had a great guide who took us to all the main temples, stupas and monasteries.

And this despite his betel-nut-stained smile.  Betel nuts are chewed all over the country and the red stain it leaves on the teeth is less than flattering.  Then the locals spit out spent saliva - it's a tobacco substitute of sorts - a bit like snuff.

 This is all very well and good, but when we told to remove our shoes (and socks) to enter the temples, we had to do this in the car then tiptoe through splatterings of spittle at the temple entrance - rather perturbing, I might add.

But we survived.

We then mounted a disused monastery with our guide to get a good view of the valley.  We had to crawl up a rather dark passageway with shaky steps and then haul ourselves up at the top to appreciate the vista.  And wow what a vista it was.

This is what we saw......it took our breath away.

This was Bagan.

We were then to head back south to Rangoon (another controversial naming thing) where the colonial majesty is still felt.

More on that another time.

Moving on....

Moving is sometimes momentous

Looking back on my time in Singapore, it’s amazing, quite amazing that I’ve been here almost 8 years already. 

I recently celebrated my 40^th birthday, as if you didn’t know, and while I haven’t managed to update my blog since then, it was a truly wonderful affair – and I hope I’ll get time in the near future to do just that – and perhaps share a photo or two.  I know many of you are not on facebook and didn’t see the pics yet.

At my birthday speech in Singapore, I listed out a long list of changes since I landed on these fair – if ueber-hygienic – shores.  And there were many.  It seems the place hasn’t slept for a second in the intervening time and upwardly-mobile buildings are testament to the ongoing development of a relatively tiny plot of land on the nub of the Malaysian peninsula.  And more is planned – unstoppable?  Undeterred?  Certainly, unabashed..!

And it is amongst all this continuing change, which I, too, find myself crossing a Rubicon of my own that will bring about a huge transformation in my life.

I’ve had the blessed good fortune to travel the world, to work in many different places and meet marvellous people from all walks of life.  Working in Paris was beautiful beyond belief; living in Tokyo, tantalisingly unique.  Then came Singapore and travel from a very doable base to places of exotic superlatives such as Bali, Langkawi, Borobodur, Angkor Wat and Chiang Mai.  (Indeed, I’m zipping off to Burma in a couple of weeks’ time to wonder at the temples of Bagan.)

I’ve sipped tea in Beijing, guzzled gyoza in Kyoto, scoffed dim sum in Hong Kong, built houses in Mongolia, been awestruck at fireworks in Sydney, discovered a charm oft-hidden in Manila and still yearn to know and see more about Asia.  And yet....

And yet, the time has come to move.  And move quite a distance.

There is a place in the world that is actually growing faster than China, believe it or not.  There is a place that holds great promise and potential.  A place where corruption and state kleptomania rob its own people of health and prosperity.  A place that holds the most beautiful sights on earth; I’m moving to Africa.  Kenya to be exact and will live in Nairobi.  I will stay at Synovate and take on an operations role covering 10 markets.

Business will take me to incredibly legendary (and sometimes infamously so) places across sub-Saharan Africa.  Where I once would say, “I’m boarding the plane for Delhi”, or “I’m about to zip to HK and BKK for a few days”.  I will probably find myself quipping, “About to board for Lagos”, or “Just got back from Tanzania & Mozambique.”  My excitement is almost tangible.

Am I nervous?  Why of course, I am.  I think that’s natural when I’m over-turning, up-rooting my current way of life in such a radical way.  But I feel that trepidation is mollified by the wonderful adventure that awaits me.

So there you have it: I’m off on a new journey; off to write a new chapter of my life; off to find new challenges, new friends & new traditions.  I might even pick up a bit of a new language – they speak Swahili over in Kenya ;-)

I suspect that my blog will get more updates from now on as I discover a whole new world: a world that is AFRICA.

They came good

It's not often a company turns things around - I mean, can take an unhappy customer and make him positive again.

But following my electronic altercation with Rubicon Wines, that's exactly what has happened here.

They have come good....Here's the email trail so you can read for yourselves....

This is a great example of customer "centricity" in action:

From: Platinum Wine Club
To: smith@yahoo.com
Cc: darrenfrommaryport@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Sat, 26 March, 2011 22:01:50
Subject: RE: Platinum Wine Club - New Orders Received - Order Ref No. 983

Darren

Apologies for any potential misunderstanding, but vouchers do not apply to
the Moet & Chandon Champagne . (I have requested of my marketing and IT staff
that the potentially confusing wording be changed.)

As a compromise, we can offer the same champagne without gift box at SGD64/
btl or SGD256 for 4. This saves you SGD20. Alternatively we can void this
order and you can order from the selection of wines that are eligible for
coupon utilization.  Please let me know you preference and we will process
the order accordingly.

Best Regards
Stephen 

_________

From: Darren Smith [mailto: darrenfrommaryport@yahoo.co.uk ]
Sent: Sunday, 27 March 2011 4:11 PM
To: Platinum Wine Club
Subject: Re: Platinum Wine Club - New Orders Received - Order Ref No. 983

 

Stephen,

That's a bit annoying.
Why does your online ordering allow it then?

Void the order.
I can get Moet cheaper elsewhere.

Disgruntledly,

Darren

PS You may want to read just how disgruntled I am on my blog...!

__________

From:	Platinum Wine Club ... Add to Contacts
To:	Darren Smith
Cc:	Natasha Ford

---

Darren:

 

I appreciate your disappointment. Our arrangement with AMEX is that we manage and sell wines via the Platinum Wine Club. We try and offer AMEX customers value. To do so, some of the products offered are not eligible for further discounting.

 

(I won’t bore you with the technical details, but changes to the wording on the site must be agreed upon etc. This takes time. In looking into this situation, I’ve notice several things that arguably could be clearer to the customer.)

 

As a business person, I’m sure you appreciate our need to manage this line of our business profitably. (Making it up in volume by selling it at a loss doesn’t work!)

 

I want to challenge you – find Moet & Chandon in Singapore (duty paid lah!) at less than SGD64, delivered to your door and I’ll pay you the difference. But the difference won’t be much and probably won’t convince you to work with us in the long term. But by all means feel free to do the due diligence and let me know!

 

Our business has been built one customer at a time. So I need to do something to make you happy. Rubicon Reserve Wines recently did a promotion with Groupon where for SGD38 people received a bottle of wine and were invited to attend a Sabrage course (using a saber to open a bottle of champagne.)

 

The marketing guys will get upset with me for mixing sales channels, but I’m inviting you to attend this course the next time it’s offered. I’m cc’ing Tash who’ll be in touch once the next session is confirmed. I’ll offer you the promotion price of SGD38 dollars for a bottle of wine & a bottle of sparkling wine, but you have to pick up the wine and attend the course to get the sparkling wine! Or just attend the course, gratis and I’m sure you’ll get a glass or two of bubbly!

 

(BTW, we won’t be using the Moet for this course, but if you find a bottle for less, you’ll have a great story to tell as you expertly pop the top with your saber – or carving knife!)  

 

I look forward to hearing back from you and I hope you are slightly less disgruntled

 

Best Regards

 

Stephen 

___________

From: Darren Smith [mailto: darrenfrommaryport@yahoo.co.uk ]
Sent: Monday, 28 March 2011 4:09 PM
To: Platinum Wine Club
Cc: Natasha Ford
Subject: Re: Platinum Wine Club - New Orders Received - Order Ref No. 983

 

Stephen,

I work in market research and do a huge amount of customer loyalty work.

It is not often that "dissatisfied" customers are tackled head on and even less so that their disappointment is transformed into delight.

I am impressed that you took the trouble to answer my points AND offered something over and above to regain my loyalty and, potentially, my renewed trust.

I will take you up on your Sabrage offer - gladly - it sounds like fun.

I will of course be updating my blog to put the record straight on how Rubicon Reserve Wines recovered this situation in an innovative and customer-centric fashion.

THANK YOU.

Darren

PS The search is now on for Moet at less than S$64....!  Will keep you posted.

________

From:	Platinum Wine Club ... Add to Contacts
To:	Darren Smith

---

Darren

 

Thanks for your note. (Most of the notes I get are of the ‘where’s my wine?’ nature.)

 

We’re not perfect, but we’re always trying to improve.

 

I’ll cancel the order and reverse the AMEX charges tomorrow.

 

I look forward to meeting you, and perhaps suggesting a few other champagnes or sparkling wines we carry, that may impress you more from a cost / benefit perspective!

 

Cheers

Stephen  

__________

PERFECT RECOVERY!!!!!

Thank you Rubicon Reserve Wines

Thought I'd beaten the system

When something seems too good to be true - yes, unfortunately, it usually is.

I have vouchers for a wine club here in Singapore (Reserve Wine Club with my Platinum Amex) and they promise S$50 off your purchase providing you spend S$250 or more.

So I checked the price of Moet - yes I like a sparkling tipple or two.  And when I bought 4 bottles applied my discount it worked out at a very nice S$59 per bottle.  A bargain.

Or so I thought...

Nowhere does it say I can only buy certain types of wine.  But then I get an email from the Sales Department stating that the coupons are not valid for this type of purchase.  WTF?


Read the small print - that's all I can say.
And did the company in question (Rubicon Wines) honour my purchase?
Did they hell...!

I feel another boycott coming on.  How dare they make me pay full price for Moet - it's not that bloody good.
Now Bollinger?!  Now that would have been fair.

Don't you all agree?